The Danger of Making Your Hiding Place Your Home

Comics, glitter bouncy balls, flashlights, and blankets, I remember all of these tucked away in my hiding place. My private entry was shrouded by clothing, much like the wardrobe in the C.S. Lewis classic, only my wardrobe was smaller, and the “corridor” didn't lead to Narnia, but rather, into my ever-growing imagination. Each new book I discovered revealed a new portal of possibilities. This was my favorite place. It was my first safe place. I began hiding at about the age of 6. 

Eventually, I grew too tall for this sacred space, and I resorted to a more obscure hiding place. Music. She was vibrant yet gentle, familiar yet somehow refreshingly new. She always provided me with a soft place to lay my head. The most beautiful thing about her was that I could find her just about anywhere. She would joyfully greet me in my Nana’s Chevrolet, and playfully accompany me in my Mama’s Honda.

Fast forward to my college years, Music became bolder and brasher. I suppose this is only to be expected, seeing that she was tasked with fighting off my culture shock, seasonal depression, and being one of my few companions. She walked with me through the coldest of winters and the hottest of summers. Her hands were frequently wrapped tightly around my ears as if she were trying to block out all of the unnecessary noise and unhelpful chatter. On rare occasions, we would find ourselves dancing and worshipping in public spaces. It was in those moments that I felt the freest and most empowered, not hiding in her bosom but dancing with her. However, these moments were always fleeting. 

So when tasked to navigate the perilous feat of determining my career path, it was only natural that I would resort to one that allowed me to accompany her once again. This time, I was determined to choose a place that resembled her in all of her brashness. After all, this facet that she possessed was the most alluring because it resembled something that I coveted: raw resilience. So I naively ventured into the world of the music industry, working in the shadows, looking for belonging, only to discover that safety was not found here. 

In God’s providence, I would soon learn that my safety was found in him and my resilience refined through the fires of adversity - not in hiding places. In God’s kindness, He has shown me that I was never meant to live in hiding. After all, hiding places have expiration dates. When I remain hidden for too long, what once was a sacred place soon becomes an ever-shrinking cage, slowly suffocating the breath that once found solace there. Flourishing requires light, air, space, and community. Therefore, He has called me to courageously dance and worship with her to the melody of my song.

I now see that when we don’t walk into the light and we remain hidden, we are withholding the beauty of our story and the power of our song from others. Today, I turn 32. This will be the first year that I commit to living fully and unashamedly out in the sun. Will you join me on this journey?

Let’s choose collective freedom and share our songs because, regardless of our circumstances, God is worthy!

Verses for Meditation 

 “I’m torn between two desires: I long to go and be with Christ, which would be far better for me. But for your sakes, I should continue to live. Knowing this, I am convinced that I will remain alive so I can continue to help all of you grow and experience the joy of your faith. And when I come to you again, you will have even more reason to take pride in Christ Jesus because of what he is doing through me.” - Philippians 1:23-26 (NLT)

“I will praise the Lord at all times.  I will constantly speak his praises.” - Psalm 34:1 (NLT)